The Exam

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

“Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”

The MIL

A game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother in law. One morning, while deep in the forest, the wife awoke to find her mother gone.

Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.

In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother in law was backed up against a big rock, and a large lion stood right in front of her.

The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

Groundhog Day 2012

In the coming New Year, 2012, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

The other involves a groundhog.

Hat tip: Das Skunkmeister of Skunkfeathers

Wednesdays Question #34

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

It seems that more and more people are less and less tolerant about anything and everything. Why do you suppose that is?

The Faith Healer

Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on their
various disorders.

"I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "But I guess it is impossible."

"I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then everything changed. That's why I'm here. I'm going to have a baby in three months."

"You must tell me what you did."

"I went to a faith healer."

"But I've tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn't help a bit."

The other woman smiled and whispered, "Try going alone, next time, dearie."

The Cabbie

Three men hail a taxi. The driver- seeing that they're drunk- decides to pull a fast one. So he switches the engine on, then quickly switches it off and announces, "We're here!"

The first guy hands him the fare, the second guy says, 'Thanks," but the third guy angrily smacks the cabbie's head.

"What was that for?", asks the cabbie, afraid he's been caught.

"That," says the passenger, "is for driving so fast!"

Hat tip: Rajagopalan of Just Out

Merry Christmas

For those of you that celebrate Christmas I wish you a Merry Christmas. For those that don't may you have a fantastic day. For our family, today is a day filled with family, good food, and remembering the reason for the season.

This is a new Christmas song and it's awesome. I hope this new group makes it to the top of the charts.

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Thanks Phil of Phils Phun