The Exam

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

“Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”

The MIL

A game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother in law. One morning, while deep in the forest, the wife awoke to find her mother gone.

Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.

In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother in law was backed up against a big rock, and a large lion stood right in front of her.

The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

Groundhog Day 2012

In the coming New Year, 2012, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

The other involves a groundhog.

Hat tip: Das Skunkmeister of Skunkfeathers

Wednesdays Question #34

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

It seems that more and more people are less and less tolerant about anything and everything. Why do you suppose that is?

The Faith Healer

Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on their
various disorders.

"I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "But I guess it is impossible."

"I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then everything changed. That's why I'm here. I'm going to have a baby in three months."

"You must tell me what you did."

"I went to a faith healer."

"But I've tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn't help a bit."

The other woman smiled and whispered, "Try going alone, next time, dearie."

The Cabbie

Three men hail a taxi. The driver- seeing that they're drunk- decides to pull a fast one. So he switches the engine on, then quickly switches it off and announces, "We're here!"

The first guy hands him the fare, the second guy says, 'Thanks," but the third guy angrily smacks the cabbie's head.

"What was that for?", asks the cabbie, afraid he's been caught.

"That," says the passenger, "is for driving so fast!"

Hat tip: Rajagopalan of Just Out

Merry Christmas

For those of you that celebrate Christmas I wish you a Merry Christmas. For those that don't may you have a fantastic day. For our family, today is a day filled with family, good food, and remembering the reason for the season.

This is a new Christmas song and it's awesome. I hope this new group makes it to the top of the charts.

Best Viewed Full Screen
Thanks Phil of Phils Phun

A Stable?

Every Christmas morning, when my kids were little, I read them the nativity story out of the big family bible.

When my son was old enough to talk, he asked me what a stable was.

I thought for a moment how to explain it to him in terms he could understand, then told him, "It's something like your sister's room, but without a stereo."

The Horse

A jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer. The trainer tells the jockey that this is the worst horse he has in training. It has had 23 races and finished last in every one of them. If it doesn't win today, the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning.

The jockey mounts up and takes the horse down to the start. The race begins and the horse is 30 lengths behind the pack after only half a furlong.

He gives the horse an great backhand on the rump. Nothing.

He then gives him a series of sharp slaps on the shoulder. Nothing.

He then gives him two wallops right on the hindquarters.

The horse comes to a sudden stop, turns to the jockey and says, "Will you stop it with that whip? I have to be up at four in the morning to deliver the milk!"

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

Christmas

A married couple had been out Christmas shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had 'disappeared.' The somewhat irate spouse called her mate’s cell phone and demanded: "Where the hell are you!?"

The husband said, 'Darling - do you remember that jewelery shop where you saw that diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it? I didn't have money to buy it for you then, but I told you, sweetheart, one day that necklace will be yours.'

The wife, blushing and with a smile replied, 'Yes, my darling! I remember that day!'

To which the husband said, 'Well, I'm in the bar next to that shop.'

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

Wednesdays Question #33

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

If you could personally witness one event in history, what would you want to see?

Easy Chicken Recipe

Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing...imagine that!

When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.. Give this a try.

1 chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing
1 cup uncooked popcorn
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 200 degrees
Brush chicken well with melted butter salt and pepper
Fill cavity with stuffing mixed with popcorn.

Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds.

When the chicken's arse blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room and lands on the table, it's done and ready to eat!

And you thought I couldn't cook ...

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

ABC...

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while and then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks, "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Hot.

She smiled happily and said, "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, and K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

Hat tip: Frank of Foxxfyrre's Honk'n'Holl'r

Silly Sunday #15

Rhonda of Laugh Quotes has a meme called Silly Sunday. Go HERE for the simple rules.

On Friday I did a post on Stupid People wherein most everyone that commented added their own favorite saying(s). Feel free to do so again today.

• A few crumbs short of a crouton.
• A few clowns short of a circus.
• A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
• An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
• A few beers short of a six-pack.
• A few peas short of a casserole.
• The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
• One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
• One taco short of a combination plate.
• A few feathers short of a whole duck.

Silly Sunday Participants

1. Sandee 2. Marg 3. stevebethere 4. Barb

5. Judy 6. Empress Bee 7. Mike 8. Stephen Hayes

9. Grace 10. Lost 11. Sucen

Learn more about Silly Sunday here.
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The Comment Game

It's time to play the comment game again. We are home this weekend instead of on our boat because there's so many thing to do to get ready for Christmas.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.

First comment: Breadcrumb stuffing or cornbread stuffing?

Stupid People

Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how...

• An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.


• As smart as bait.


• Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.


• Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.


• Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.


• Forgot to pay his brain bill.


• His belt doesn't go through all the loops.


• If he had another brain, it would be lonely.


• Missing a few buttons on his remote control.


• Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.


• Receiver is off the hook.


• Surfing in Nebraska.


• An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.


• A few beers short of a six-pack.


• A few peas short of a casserole.


• The cheese slid off his cracker.


• Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.


• Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.


• He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.


• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

First Four

One of my blogging buddies sent this to me and I searched for the first four words that describe me. It was fun and I thought I'd share this with all of you. Go ahead, what are the first four words you found? And does it ring true?

Wednesdays Question #32

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

Winter wonderland or a tropical beach?

Run, Run

A Scotsman moves to Chicago and attends his first baseball game. The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double. Everyone is on their feet screaming, "Run."

The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers, "RUN RUN". The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.

The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by. The Umpire calls: "Walk." The batter starts his slow trot to first base.

The Scot stands up and screams, "Run ye lazy bastard, RUN!"

The people around him begin laughing. Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down.

A friendly fan notes the man's embarrassment, leans over and explains, "He can't run -- he's got four balls."

The Scot stands up and screams, "Walk with pride, Laddie! Walk with pride."

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

Taming the Lion

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid- twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"

"No problem," replies the young man, "just get that lion out of the way."

Silly Sunday #14

Rhonda of Laugh Quotes has a meme called Silly Sunday. Go HERE for the simple rules.

A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.

"I must say," says the executive, "Your work history is terrible. You`ve been fired from every job."

"Yes," says the man.

"Well," continues the executive "there`s not much positive in that."

"Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application. "At least I`m not a quitter."

Silly Sunday Participants

1. Comedy Plus 2. Mike 3. stevebethere 4. Barb 5. Judy 6. Marg

7. Jean 8. Rajagopalan 9. Stephen Hayes 10. Ann 11. Bearman 12. Awww Mondays

13. Kibitz Spot 14. Laugh Quotes 15. Traveling Bells 16. Empress Bee

Learn more about Silly Sunday here.
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Only Pleasure in Life

A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8.

The obviously well trained salesman says, "But sir, you take an 11 or eleven-and-a-half."

"Just bring me a size eight."

The sales guy brings them, and the man stuffs his feet into them and stands up in obvious pain.

He turns to the salesman and says, "I've lost my house to the I.R.S., I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with my best friend, my business has filed Chapter 11, and my son just told me he was gay. The only pleasure I have left is to come home at night and take my shoes off."

Sugar's Furry Friend

I'm a BIG fan of Sugar the Golden Retriever. She and her mom, Maria Rosalyn Acero, are a daily read of mine. Sugar's mom wrote a book called Sugar's Furry Friend. I purchased a copy and read it a few days ago. The book is geared for children ages 3 to 6 years old, but I found it a very pleasant read. Here's what Toni F., Teacher said:

"Sugar's Furry Friend is a delightful children's book about a Golden Retriever who discovers a chipmunk in her backyard. As the story unfolds through four seasons, the visually appealing illustrations not only capture the true to nature course of time, but also the heart-warming joy found in the budding friendship between the two."

The seasons play a very large part in this book and the interaction between Sugar and the chipmunk. During spring and summer they play and have fun and then in the fall the chipmunk is busy getting ready for winter. Pretty soon the chipmunk is gone and Sugar waits for the chipmunk to return. And in the spring the chipmunk does return and the process is repeated.

I found the book delightful and intend on giving it to my great grand-baby. If you want to purchase this delightful children's book and also support a fellow blogger go HERE to purchase Sugar's Furry Friend. I know your little ones will enjoy it very much. There is also a puzzle you can purchase too, and if you order soon you'll have either one or both before Christmas.

$100.00

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. He decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA they decided to send it to the President.

The President was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C. and those creeps took $95.00 in taxes.

Hat tip: Jodi of Jodi's Journey

Wednesdays Question #31

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

Do you agree with the Occupy Wall Street movement? Why or why not?

Bob and Mary - Story Game

This is the completed Story Game of "Bob and Mary" that you all did an outstanding job in authoring.

Bob and Mary just finished three days of holiday shopping when Mary discovered that she had forgotten something important and essential. She had not gotten anything for Bob. Since it was Cyber Monday, Mary sat down at the computer and typed in http://www.amazon.com, thinking she might get him a book on how to bake a cake but instead she found a great sale on cartoon character underwear, a whole set for only $300!

But that is too expensive. I have seven grandchildren. I better try that search again. An in depth research revealed that 7 sets of undergarments is only $300. Hence Bob decided to clinch the deal, because, what is Christmas without some Batman Underwear? He pulled his still warm credit card from his wallet, bought the underwear and decided to have cake for lunch!

Then he pondered about secretly buying that special necklace with Mary's birthstone. It was on sale and he knew how much she wanted one. He bought it and said I am going to hide it in the underwear. She'll NEVER think to look for it there. I'll take it out and wrap it up at the last minute.

Unfortunately, that turned out to be a bad idea, because when Mary discovered she was still wearing a blouse she decided to try on in one of the stores, so she grabbed the underwear and and put them on and decided to give Bob an early Christmas treat!

Bob HAD to figure out if the necklace was still encapsulated in the underwear his wife was showcasing to him. Nervously, like an inept schoolboy, he tenderly pulled back the elastic band emblazoned with the Bat-logo when the doorbell rang. Who was at the door? The pastor of our church and here's my wife dancing around in my batman underwear. We should have closed the curtains because our pastor was getting a real show. I hustled my wife off to our bedroom and answered the door. Our poor pastor was embarrassed beyond belief, but I was in worse shape than him.

After the pastor left I went to our bedroom to find my wife in tears about the pastor watching her dance in batman underwear. There was no consoling her either. She got dressed and left the bedroom and I began searching for the birthstone necklace. I couldn't find it anywhere. It just had disappeared. If fact I searched every room that my wife had been while she was giving me and our pastor a show and still couldn't find the necklace.

The necklace was on sale when I purchased it the first time, but it wasn't on sale when I purchased it the second time. I've learned a valuable lesson. Buy the gift, wrap it and put it under the Christmas tree. Don't hide it in your underwear drawer.

Contributing authors (In order of appearance):

Steve of Stevebethere
Barb of TheDailyGs
Marg of Margs Pets
Ivanhoe of From Ohio with Love
Russ of Grampy's World

Rajagopalan of Just Out
Mike of A Five Minute Vacation
Empress Bee of Muffin53
Judy Haughton-James of Judy H-J's Thoughts
DrillerAA09 of Driller's Place

Annie of A Nice Place In The Sun
Grampy of Mysterious World
Ron Russell of TOTUS: Conservative Political Commentary
George of Addanac City
Rence of Living the Filipino Dream

A great big THANK YOU to everyone that contributed to the Story Game. You are all awesome!

The Blonde Nun

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God.

"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.

"There must be something you would have of Me," said Almighty God.

"Well, there is one thing," she said.

"Just name it," said God.

"It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere -- not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop."

"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something else that I could do just for you."

"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth Your time," said the nun.

"Name it. Please," said God.

"It's those M&M's," said the nun. "They're so darn hard to peel..."

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

This 'n' That

Today I woke up as staff commodore as last night I was relieved of my duties as commodore during our annual Change of Watch ceremony. It's a great feeling to have made it through all the working chairs unscathed. Our club is fiscally sound (one of my biggest goals) and I'm smiling from ear to ear.

This little gal is my great grand-baby Audi. She visited us for Thanksgiving dinner and I loved on her as much as I could (which was a lot). She is fascinated with our dog Little Bit.

Audi is walking now and it's adorable. She has a great big smile that makes everyone smile. She's the perfect great grand-baby. Well for hubby and I she is.

Have a terrific weekend everyone.

Cookie Day

Steve of Burnt Food Dude is participating in National Cookie Day. From today through December 4th you can participate by doing a post on your favorite cookie and include the recipe. Here's what Steve said, in part, about this National Holiday:

This holiday is for honoring and enjoying the sweet flavor of cookies and sharing them with friends and family. Let this holiday remind you of fond memories of days gone by. Let today be the day you learn to bake new cookie recipes and learn to decorate a cookie in a new way. Let today be the day you buy a new cookie cutter and enjoy using it by baking homemade cookies. Let today be the day you sit down with a tall cold glass of milk or hot coffee, a large plate of fresh cookies, and have no guilt at eating them all up.

White Christmas Dream Drops

Unlike traditional meringues, which are crisp all the way through, these are still chewy on the inside, like mini pavlovas but with white chocolate chips and plenty of peppermint. For an elegant touch, dip the edges in melted dark chocolate.

Ingredients

2 large egg whites, at room temperature
1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup white chocolate chips
1/3 cup plus 1 1/2 tbsp. coarsely crushed peppermint candies

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 250°. Beat egg whites and cream of tartar in a deep bowl with a mixer, using whisk attachment if you have one, just until soft peaks form. Add vanilla and salt. With motor running and mixer on high speed, pour in 1 tbsp. sugar and beat 10 to 15 seconds, then repeat until all sugar has been added. Scrape inside of bowl and beat another 15 seconds. At this point, meringue should form straight peaks when beaters are lifted. Fold in chocolate chips and 1/3 cup candies with a flexible spatula.


2. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper, using a bit of meringue at corners as glue. Using a soup spoon, drop meringue in rounded 1-tbsp. portions slightly apart onto sheets, scraping off with another spoon. Sprinkle with remaining 1 1/2 tbsp. candies.


3. Bake until meringues feel dry and set when touched but are still pale, 30 to 35 minutes, switching pan positions halfway through. Turn off oven, open door, and let cookies stand about 10 minutes. Let cool on pans.
   

Make ahead: Up to 2 days, stored airtight.

Dustin and Erin Beutin, Tustin, CA, Sunset DECEMBER 2011

Stock Market Terms

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

Hat tip: Rajagopalan of Just Out

Jay Leno

1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing, its called the stock market - Jay Leno

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street - Jay Leno

3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie.

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it - Jay Leno

7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favorite candy bar - Jay Leno

8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Obama's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures. Jay Leno

9. President Obama's response was to support some small business owners in America. The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21. - Jay Leno

10. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's.

Hat tip: Rajagopalan of Just Out

Winter

My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.

One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.

After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

The Story Game

It's time to play The Story Game again. Here's how it works. I'll start a story. You continue it in comments. Each commenter picks up where the last left off. In a few days I'll give it an ending and post our story with the links to everyone who participated under the heading, "Contributing Authors". You can play as many times as you want. If someone derails the story will one of you put it back on track? Thanks for playing along and have a great day.

Here's the beginning of our new story: Bob and Mary just finished three days of holiday shopping when Mary discovered ...

Silly Sunday #12

Rhonda of Laugh Quotes has a meme called Silly Sunday. Go HERE for the simple rules.

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren" and she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna" and she's gone.

The third says "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.

St Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter.

He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says, "No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men'!"

Silly Sunday Participants

1. Catch My Words 2. stevebethere 3. Barb 4. Russ 5. Rhonda 6. Empress Bee 7. Traveling Bells

8. Sugar 9. Judy 10. Marg 11. Willy 12. Tony McGurk 13. Kibitz Spot 14. Comedy Plus

15. Angel 16. Annie 17. Bearman 18. Ann 19. Rajagopalan 20. Sucen 21. Mike

Learn more about Silly Sunday here.
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Growing Older

Aging: eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The easiest way to find something that's lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you?

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

He who hesitates is almost certainly right.

Did you ever notice? The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL'.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt..
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

Involuntary Contractions

A professor at the University of Wisconsin was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to spice up his lecture.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, "Do you know what your a$$hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.

Hat tip: Sandy B of Traveling Bells

Happy Thanksgiving

Yesterday I asked what you were thankful for on Wednesdays Question and today I decided that I would tell you some of the things I'm thankful for.

For a wonderful, loving husband.

For my family that will be visiting today.

For my two granddaughters and my great granddaughter (who is walking already).

For the good health hubby and I are fortunate to enjoy.

For the home we made with each other. A home of quiet and harmony.

For the many great friends I've made over the years.

For my blogging buddies that I love so very much. You know who you are.

For the freedom to come and go as we please.

Happy Thanksgiving from our home to yours.

Wednesdays Question #30

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving for those living in America. What are you most thankful for?

Thanks Babs

Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings sent me this photograph some time back and I stored it away for a day that I just needed a break. This is the day I need a break. This did crack me up too. The caption and the cats expression is spot on. Have a great day everyone.

Far Out!

After getting some great music from Grace of Dragon's Alley from the 50s and 60s. Then it was this post from Sarge Charlie and this post from Empress Bee that really got me to thinking about the 60s. I decided to take a look at the 60s in the good old U.S of A.

Population 177,830,000

Unemployment 3,852,000

Average Salary $4,743

Teacher's Salary $5,174

Minimum Wage $1.00

Life Expectancy: Males 66.6 years, Females 73.1 years

A great decade for musicals such as: Camelot, Hello Dolly, Oliver, Man of La Mancha, Hair, and Funny Girl.

Chubby Checker introduced the Twist on American Band Stand in 1961 and a new craze was born with dancing becoming something you didn't need a partner for.

The Mashed Potato, The Swim, The Watusi, the Monkey and The Jerk followed the Twist.

This was also the decade of the Go-Go girls, on stages or in bird cages, who danced above the crowd.

The Flintstones became the second cartoon on in primetime. (The first was Rocky and his Friends in 1959). Of course, more followed such as Alvin & the Chipmunks, The Jetsons, and Mr. Magoo.

Family television was The Andy Griffith Show. For our sitcom of that decade it was The Beverly Hillbillies. The sci-fi and supernatural included: Bewitched, The Addams Family, My Favorite Martian, I Dream of Jeannie, Star Trek, The Outer Limits, and The Twilight Zone.

Who could forget Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. You bet your bippy you can't!

Do you remember most of this? Me too.

Boasting Boys

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

Thank You Grace

Earlier this month Grace of Dragon's Alley had a contest. In her post titled, Let's Have Some Fun we were to guess what her favorite music is and I decided to play along. I knew that Grace loves all music, but she really loves opera so that was my guess. Well I won a CD and it arrived on Saturday. Thank you for putting together 31 really great songs.

Here's the playlist:

Baby, It's You
Be My Baby
Da Doo Ron Ron
Big John
Born Too Late
Chains
A Thing of the Past
He's A Rebel
Don't Say Nuthin' Bad About My Baby
Dedicated to the One I Love
Chapel of Love
Foolish Little Girl
Don't Mess With Bill
Dream Lover
Soldier Boy
He's Sure the Boy I Love
Mama Said
I Love How You Love Me
My Boyfriend's Back
Iko Iko
Please Mr. Postman
Sally Go 'Round the Rose
Maybe Tonight
Sweet Talkin' Guy
Then He Kissed Me
Boys
To Know Him Is To Love Him
Uptown
Tonight's the Night
You, Baby
Will You Love Me Tomorrow

See one that you want to listen to? Click on it and it will take you to You Tube. Thanks Grace and many of these were my favorites back in the day. A very pleasant walk down memory lane.

I'm Telling You!

Judy at Judy H-J-s Thoughts - A Twinless Twin awarded me the Tell Me About Yourself Award. If you've not visited Judy she has a lovely blog that I would read and not comment on (I know Empress Bee I'm not supposed to lurk). Here's what Judy's blog is about:

I am a Jamaican twinless twin who lost my identical twin sister Janine on October 16, 2008. Here I share pictures, articles, poems, music videos, quotations etc. I mainly write about being twins, my experiences since the death of my twin, coping with loss and grief and the wide range of interests that my twin and I shared over the years.

Thanks Judy I appreciate you thinking about me.

Here's the rules:

• I must tell 7 things about myself
• I must pass it on to 15 other bloggers.

Here's are Judy's 15 picks:

Comedy Plus
How to become an Einstein?
Mommy Growing up
A Rural Journal
First Day of My Life
Mom's Best Nest
My Crazy Life
Heartfelt Balance/Handmade Life
AboutBloggingTime!
Bloggity Blog
Notes from the Nelsens
Art @ Home
Tina's PicStory
Speed of Life
a mommy's lifestyle

So here's seven things about me:

1. I don't follow the rules very well so I'm not going to tag 15 people to do this. If you want to play along let me know and I'll come visit your post.
2. I met Judy (the lovely lady that tagged me with this meme) through Entrecard. I know many don't care for Entrecard, but I've sure met lots of folks through Entrecard.
3. I love all things boating. I love both our boats, and I adore the big cruise ships. I can hardly wait for our cruise to Hawaii.
4. I have lots of friends, but my very best friend is my husband.
   
5. I have a 41 year old son and two grandchildren. The oldest grandchild gave me a great granddaughter last December 27th.
6. I hate cold weather and abhor winter even though I live in central California and it doesn't snow here. I like to wear shorts, t-shirts and flip flops.
   
7. I'm a happy person 99% of the time. I love life and love beginning each day. Life is an attitude and I learned that long ago. I can make it a great day or I can complain about anything and everything. I'm going to make it a great day.
   

Now all of you go out and make it a great day too.

IOBG

In October I attended an International Order of the Blue Gavel (district 19) committee meeting at Ebony Boat Club. Membership is by invitation only and you have to be a past commodore to be considered. Your peers (the past commodores of your club) are polled to see if you are going to be invited as a member. I figured this would be done later in the year, but according to Dr. Bendsen it had already been done. He then told me that he wanted me to attend the meeting right after lunch. Okay, I can do that.

The vice president of the club was setting up events for 2012 and finding folks that would do an event. Also discussed was next years officers. He mentioned that there was an opening for treasurer at which time Dr. Bendsen pointed at me. I told him I didn't qualify as I was a commodore and would be until December 2, 2011. I also have to be inducted into IOBG before I can hold office. We had an attorney in the crowd that cleaned is up nicely. Have the positions of secretary and treasurer be done by the same person and after my induction I would then become the treasurer. I agreed to that.

The vice commodore then said he hoped I would go through the chairs, but it wasn't required. I agreed to go through the chairs. So my break from doing yacht club functions will last until February and then I'll start going through the chairs of another club. The best part? I'm happy about it as IOBG has always been near and dear to my heart.

Wednesdays Question #29

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

If you won a million dollars what would you do with the money?

Our Yacht Club

This past Saturday evening I conducted my last business meeting at The Point Waterfront Restaurant. It was an evening filled with fun, lots of laughs and fellowship among our members. Here's some of the really fun things I got to do:

I had the privilege of swearing in two new members. New members are the lifeblood of any club. They bring fresh ideas and add to an already great club. Our mantra is to have fun and that's what we do.

Our club won the first Harter Gail Force Wind award. Now this is a really big deal. There are 107 clubs in PICYA and we are one of those clubs. Each club vied for this award and it was based on the donations that each member gave to RBOC. This award is geared to help the smaller clubs to have a shot at winning. The current president of RBOC is Dr. Linda Bendsen who is also a member of Delta Marina Yacht Club. She got to present this award, but didn't know who the recipient was until the cover came off the award. To say that our club is thrilled is an understatement. Having received this award on Dr. Bendsen's watch is even better.

I got to say thank you publicly to all the officers and board of directors for their hard work all year long. I've been blessed with a great group of people to work with. They dug in and got the work done and had fun along the way. They were supportive of each other and there wasn't any infighting about anything.

I got to talk about the flag officers (those that really do lots of work) and recap the year and all their hard work. They did an outstanding job getting the work done and adding new and fun things into each event.

I got to rib our port captain who had some interesting experiences on our cruise to Driftwood Yacht Club. Our vice commodore had an issue with his boat and we came to his aid by side tying him to our boat in anticipation of towing him into Driftwood YC. Our port captain who is responsible for getting all the boats in to the cruises came along side to see if he could help. He couldn't so he said he would hurry to Driftwood so he could assist us in getting our boats in. He powered up! Big!!! and gave us a wake that wouldn't quit. Bless his heart. When we rounded the bend we saw our port captains boat way out of the channel and stuck. He had the smallest boat so none of us could go help him. He finally got free, and one of the other boats got close enough to hook to him and tow him in.

During our September meeting the port captain had a report for the flags and Board of Directors. "Plot your course. Stay in the channel, and don't wake the commodore when she is towing the vice commodore."

On December 2, 2011 I will step down as commodore of Delta Marina Yacht Club and will spend next year as the staff commodore. This is an advisory position. But I'm not done with going through the chairs. Check Thursdays post on what I'll be doing next year.

Y Generation Explained

• People born before 1946 were called The Silent and Powerful Generation.
• People born between 1946 and 1964 are called The Baby Boomers.
• People born between 1965 and 1979 are called Generation X.
• And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called Generation Y.
  

Why do we call the last group Generation Y?

- Y should I get a job?
- Y should I leave home and find my own place?
- Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?
- Y should I clean my room?
- Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
- Y should I buy any food?

But a cartoonist explained it very eloquently below.

Hat tip: Georgia L.

About Cats - Part II

1. Cats get an average of 16 hours of sleep per day.


2. Cats have 32 muscles in each ear and can turn their ear very quickly to catch noise.


3. Cats have an average of 24 whiskers, arranged in four horizontal rows on each side.


4. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four toes on each back paw.


5. Cats make over 100 different vocal sounds; dogs can make about ten.


6. Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right or left handed, or is that paws?


7. Domestic cats hate lemons or other citrus scents.


8. In the cat family, only cheetahs cannot retract their claws.


9. Jaguars are the only big cats that don't roar.


10. Julius Ceasar, Henri II, Charles XI, and Napoleon were all afraid of cats.


11. Kittens are born both blind and deaf.


12. Most cats have no eyelashes.


13. Mother cats teach their kittens to use the litter box.


14. Sir Isaac Newton invented the cat door.


15. Today there are about 100 distinct breeds of the domestic cat.

About Cats - Part I

1. A cat can jump even seven times as high as it is tall.


2. A cat cannot see directly under its nose. This is why the cat cannot seem to find tidbits on the floor.


3. A cat is pregnant for about 58-65 days.


4. A cat's IQ is only surpassed by that of monkeys and chimps in the world of animals.


5. A cat's nose pad is as unique as a human fingerprint. No two nose prints are identical.


6. A cat's sense of smell is about 14 times stronger than ours.


7. A litter of kittens is called a kindle, and a group of cats is called a clowder.


8. Americans will spend more on cat food this year than baby food.


9. Ancient Egyptians shaved their eyebrows in mourning when their cats died.


10. Cat urine glows under a black-light!


11. Catgut comes from sheep not cats.


12. Cats are members of the Felidea family.


13. Cats are the only animals that purr. They can purr at around 26 cycles per second, which is the same frequency as an idling diesel engine.


14. Cats cannot taste sweet things.


15. Cats do not think that they are little people. They think that we are big cats.