Imagine

While visiting Mike over at Mike's Place I found a post titled Imagine versus Imagine, posted by one of his coauthors Clueless, that made me laugh out loud. We've all heard John Lennon's Imagine, but this Imagine is quite unique. Now just enjoy the silliness.

Wednesdays Question #15

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

What do you most like or dislike about summer?

The Frantics

While visiting Phil of Phils Phun I found the video below and almost wet myself from laughing so hard. I just can't imagine my father being able to talk to me about this issue. I love his approach, but what's even funnier is the guy on the right. He really cracked me up.



How many dads do you think are out there that would even try to give any advice or help in this situation? Not many would be my guess. So enjoy the silliness.

The Frantics-Her First Period

- watch more funny videos

Friends

Friends are like underpants.

Some crawl up your behind.

Some snap under pressure.

Some don't have the strength to hold you up.

Some get a little twisted.

Some are your favorite.

Some are cheap and just plain nasty,

And some actually do cover your behind when you need them to.



Stolen from Phil of Phils Phun

The Comment Game

It's time to play the comment game again. We are on our last cruise-out of the year so we are enjoying our boating buddies this weekend.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.

First comment: Seafood or Steak?

A Fireman's Dog

A Sunday School helper was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog's duties.



"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.



"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."



A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Happy Barkday Sugar

Today is Sugar The Golden Retrievers Barkday. She is a young 10 years old and we all need to sing Happy Barkday to her. If you want to leave a comment on her blog she would be really happy. Just click on her smiling cute face and it will take you to her blog.

♪♪Happy Barkday to you,♪♪
♪♪Happy Barkday to you,♪♪
♪♪Happy Barkday Dear Sugar,♪♪
♪♪Happy Barkday to you.♪♪

Awww...Mondays #90

Last week it was mentioned that our Little Bit hasn't been featured in Awww...Mondays. Please meet Little Bit. She's a flat coat retriever, among other things, and is a bird dog. She loves to hunt and really loves chasing cats. Every cat in our neighborhood has beaten her up, but she still chases them. She also loves fish and and hubby came up with the idea of baking bread so he can chum and then she can watch the show. People in the marina stop and watch Little Bit and all the fish. Very entertaining to say the least.

Here's what you couldn't see in the photo above. Now that makes Little Bit very happy and she'll spend all day and half the night on the swim platform watching all the fish. She'll also bug hubby every 5 seconds to feed the fish. He created a monster. She's a good girl though and the very best dog we've ever had.


Awww...Mondays Participants

1. Spunky & Manny 2. Sandee 3. Mike Golch 4. Barb 5. Driller 6. Lois Grebowski 7. Marg

8. Rhonda 9. Traveling Bells 10. Rajagopalan 11. Joanne 12. William K Wallace 13. Empress Bee 14. Joyce Lansky

15. Mike 16. Duke 17. Binky 18. Linda 19. Carmen 20. Stevebethere

Learn more about Awww...Mondays here.
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More Funny Sayings

• When you're getting kicked from behind, at least it means you're in front.
• Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
• Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
• Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
• Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done.
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
• Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
• The one who snores will fall asleep first.
• The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.

Silly Sunday #33

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:

• Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
• Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
• If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

Funny Sayings!

• Fools rush in where fools have been before.
• It's called "take home" pay because you can't afford to go anywhere else with it.
• Success is relative; the greater the success, the more relatives.
• If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
• You must have learned from others' mistakes. You haven't had time to think all those up yourself.
• People like criticism; just keep it positive and flattering.
• It's OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
• Worry kills more people than work because more people worry than work.
• Middle age is when broadness of the mind, and narrowness of the waist, change places.

Snotty Receptionist

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "Yes, I have your name here; you want to see the doctor about impotence, right?

The rest of the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied: "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation, but I don't want the same doctor that did yours."

Don't mess with old people!

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Hat tip: Bearman of Bearman Cartoons

Ineptrocracy

A system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

Wednesday's Question #52

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

What is your favorite cut of meat?

Since Barb thinks I should answer these Wednesday Questions too, then I will. I rarely have beef, but my absolute favorite cut is Filet Mignon. I also love salmon and especially love hubbies BBQ baby back ribs. They are fall off the bone wonderful.

The Frog

An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.

He whispered, 'I'M SO LONELY, TOO. BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME... YOU’LL NEVER BE SORRY.'

The older lady figured, what the heck! She hadn't found anything else. So, she bought the frog. She placed him in the car, on the front seat, beside her. As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her 'KISS ME AND YOU WON'T BE SORRY.'

So! The older lady figured, WHAT THE HELL, and kissed the frog.

IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young, handsome prince.

THE PRINCE THEN RETURNED THE OLDER LADY'S KISS.

SUDDENLY THE OLDER LADY FELT HERSELF TRANSFORMING FROM HIS KISS. NOW CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THE OLDER LADY TURNED INTO?

COME ON GUESS!

*

*

*

*

SHE TURNED INTO THE FIRST Travelodge SHE COULD FIND!!!

She's older..... NOT BLOODY DEAD!!!!!

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

Thank You

Let's honor our military,
The men and women who serve,
Whose dedication to our country
Does not falter, halt or swerve.

Let's respect them for their courage;
They're ready to do what's right
To keep America safe,
So we can sleep better at night.

Let's support and defend our soldiers,
Whose hardships are brutal and cruel,
Whose discipline we can't imagine,
Who follow each order and rule.

Here's to those who choose to be warriors
And their helpers good and true;
They're fighting for American values;
They're fighting for me and you.

By Joanna Fuchs

Silly Sunday #32

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:

• Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
• Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
• If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

Innocence!

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.

The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'

'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this?

The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:30?'

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

Silly Sunday Participants

1. bethere2day 2. Catch My Words ♥ 3. Jim 4. Kibitz Spot 5. Comedy Plus

6. Barb 7. Ann 8. Marg 9. Empress Bee 10. Linda

11. Rajagopalan 12. William K Wallace 13. Judy

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A Man...

His bike, and his chick.

I'm pretty sure they are heading to Wal*Mart. Have a terrific weekend.

Hat tip: ♥♥Dave and Linda from Alabama♥♥

Indiana - Part III

This marker is in Goshen, Indiana, in Elkhart County.

The Goshen Police Booth was built in the late 1930's to protect the city's two banks, which were located diagonally opposite of one another. At that time city officials had good reason to fear that auto bandits traveling the Lincoln Highway might strike Goshen. In 1933 members of the John Dillinger gang had raided police facilities in Auburn, Indiana, and Peru, Indiana, stealing several machine guns and other weapons, ammunition, and bulletproof vests. The gang later robbed a police station in nearby Warsaw, Indiana, of guns and bulletproof vests. In 1934 Dillinger and Pretty Boy Floyd robbed a bank in South Bend, Indiana, killing a law enforcement officer in the process. With Auburn located to the east of Goshen, Peru to the west, Warsaw to the south and South Bend to the north, it seemed likely that the Dillinger gang, and other gangsters of the day, were passing through Goshen while en route to commit their crimes.

Source: Goshen's Lincoln Highway

Indiana - Part II

When we were in Amish country we visited Shipshewana and were treated to lunch at the Blue Gate Restaurant. We decided to have the family style meal and are we glad we did. It was a lot of food and the really neat thing is you can eat all you want. They will keep bringing you food until you are full. The picture below looks exactly like what we had for lunch. It was yummy.

Here's how they describe their family style meal:

All you can eat.

"Experience a traditional Amish meal just like we serve in our homes, with the selection of a buffet, brought to your table in bowls and platters."

Tender roast beef, homemade meatloaf or smoked ham may be selected to accompany fried chicken as your entrees. Your meal also includes real mashed potatoes, chicken dressing, gravy, vegetables, homemade bread and your choice of pie, bread pudding or ice cream and a beverage.

If you want to read about more about this establishment go HERE.

After lunch we used their restroom. I've never seen a public restroom that was so clean. Well everything was very, very clean. It was a morning and afternoon that I will never forget. When we headed back home we saw many more Amish buggies. It was delightful.

Wednesday's Question #51

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

Rock & Roll, Classical or Country music?

Indiana - Part I

Hubby and I spent 9 days in Indiana this past week, and enjoyed visiting family that we've not seen in 10+ years. We had a fabulous time and got to visit many neat places. The most amazing place for me was visiting Amish country. What a different way of life. So simple and orderly. Below is a video hubby took of an Amish buggy heading to the gas station. Why? I haven't a clue. All the buggies were black. All of them.

I cannot imagine this being my only mode of transportation. These buggies were all over the place and many were driven by women. A fascinating world we live in.

We traveled here on Monday and you can tell the Amish houses as they are all white. No trim at all, just white. There were also tons of clothes drying on their clotheslines too. Must have been wash day.

It seemed to me that everything in the Amish world was either black or white.

Take the Bus

I would like to share an experience with you, about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social occasion over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers and some rather nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home.

Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it from.

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

Silly Sunday #31

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:

• Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
• Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
• If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

How to recognize when you're getting older!

• Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
• The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
• You feel like the night before, and you haven't been anywhere.
• Your little black book contains only names ending in M. D.
• You get winded playing cards.
• You join a health club and don't go.
• You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
• You look forward to a dull evening.
• You need glasses to find your glasses.
• You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
• You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
• Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
• Your back goes out more than you do.
• You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine chest.
• You sink your teeth in a steak and they stay there.
• YOU WONDER WHY MORE PEOPLE DON'T USE THIS SIZE PRINT.

Silly Sunday Participants

1. bethere2day 2. Kibitz Spot 3. Comedy Plus 4. Woodsterman 5. Jim 6. Barb

7. Marg 8. Judy 9. Empress Bee 10. Rajagopalan 11. Ann 12. Wade

13. Ivanhoe 14. Catch My Words ♥ 15. Binky 16. William K Wallace

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Stupid Quotes - Part III

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." -- Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D, Calif.)

"You read what Disraeli had to say. I don't remember what he said. He said something. He's no longer with us." -- Bob Dole

"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl." -- Marion Barry

"You can't just let nature run wild." -- Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska

"The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45." -- Mike Murphy, adviser to Lamar Alexander

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity." -- Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House

"I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?" -- President Bush, in a note to to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a U.N. Security Council meeting, September 14, 2005

Stupid Quotes - Part II

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version." - Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally." - Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything." - Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

"I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents." - George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." - Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor

"The world is more like it is now then it ever has before."- Dwight Eisenhower

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate." -- Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

Stupid Quotes

"Please provide the date of your death." - from an IRS letter

"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes." - Richard (Dicky) Nixon

We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" - Lee Iacocca

"A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on." - Samuel Goldwyn

Helpful Warnings: "CAUTION: Knife is very sharp. Keep out of children"

"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman." - Rear Admiral James R. Hogg

"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields

"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce." - Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly." - Batman costume warning label

"The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others." - Jerry Brown

Wednesday's Question #50

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

Hot, medium or mild food?

The Buffalo Theory

The "Buffolo Theory" of Beer...

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so GOOD for you!

Son of a...

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, ‘Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’ The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, ‘Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, ‘It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.

Now wipe that smile off your face.

Hat tip: Spicybugz World

Silly Sunday #30

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:

• Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
• Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
• If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

Mother's Day

A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason, the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.

"Nothing," said the woman.

Not buying it, he asked again.

"Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for fifteen years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as "thank you."

"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in fifteen years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."

"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

Mother's Dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What is too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

Password

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento."

When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said, "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."

Hat tip: Georgia L.

Darwin Award - Part II

Hotter Copper Whopper
2011 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(3 July 2011, Leeds, UK.) Thief! How, many, thieves, have, to die, to prove that you shouldn't steal copper wire? Besides the risk, it's not right to cause thousands of dollars worth of damage, for hundreds of dollars in profit. HEY YOU IMMORAL IDIOTS, It makes bad environmental sense to destroy more than you recoup. Angry lecture!

Copper Kills! CE Electric UK recently began marking the copper using 'SmartWater' technology to deter malicious, costly vandalism. American Electric Power is converting from copper grounding wire to copper-clad steel wire that has little scrap value and is tougher to cut.

Knowing that species evolve, why are we so dumb? Like Darwin's Finches, humans are filling the 'new islands' (evolutionary niches) created by our civilization, and our mutations are being tuned by each self-limiting step we take.

Which brings me to a Leeds teenager, who at 16 became a deceased Darwin Award winner by making one such self-limiting step. Copper theft is a killer, and also a nuisance. CE Electric UK has dealt with 279 incidents in the last year in West Yorkshire. They plead, "We are pleading with thieves to think about the consequences and how much they are risking for such a small return. DANGER OF DEATH signs are posted for a reason!"

Stealing copper? Fast track train to Charles Darwin's heavenly estate. "Welcome home, Leeds teen. You were old enough to know better!" Sometimes a friend has to cram life into too few years, but we comfort ourselves knowing that his destiny was to serve as a warning to others.

Source: Darwin Awards

Wednesday's Question #49

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

You get to decide where to go for dinner. Where are you going and why?

Darwin Award

Motorcycle Helmet Law, ex-Protestor
2011 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
(July 2011, New York)

Protesting motorcycle helmet laws, an Onondaga, NY man was participating in a bare-noggin protest ride when he was killed via flipping over the handlebars. The motorcycle accident injured the noggin of Mr. Contos, 55, fatally damaging a brain that was unable to determine the physics of the situation. Moreover, he'd do it again if he could, according to his elder brother. He would have wanted it that way.

Certain laws have physics on their side, obviously, and the laws say one's body cannot walk away from a high-speed physical impact. Laws not subject to repeal. Unprotected--you squash like a bug. Protected--you eat squash for dinner.

Since properly padded and protected men can walk away from a 90-mph crash, protection is prudent when you increase {mass x speed} above a critical threshold.

Prudent, but should protection be mandatory? Robert Frost says, "I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way."

Police said Phil "hit his brakes, fishtailed and went out of control, flipping him over the handlebars." What we, the Darwin Awards committee, would like to know--and news reports don't explain--is just how he went over the handlebars?

Source: Darwin Awards

Southern Sayings - Part II

Another top 15 things that you will never hear a southern man say:

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7. Checkmate.

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

4. I don't have a favorite college team.

3. You Guys.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

And the number one thing that you will never hear a southern man say:

1. Nope, no more beer for me.

Hat tip: My Alabama buddies ♥♥Dave and Linda♥♥

Silly Sunday #29

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:

• Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
• Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
• If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

Top 15 things that you will never hear a Southern man say:

15. When I retire, I'm movin' up north.

14. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

13. Duct tape won't fix that.

12. Come to think of it, I'll have a white wine instead of a beer.

11. We don't keep firearms in this house.

10. You can't feed that to the dog.

9. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

8. Rastling is fake.

7. We're vegetarians.

6. Do you think my gut is too big?

5. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy..

4. Honey, we don't need another dog.

3. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

2. Give me the small bag of barbecue pork rinds.

1. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

Hat tip: My Alabama buddies ♥♥Dave and Linda♥♥ Silly Sunday Participants

1. Chinmay 2. bethere2day 3. Catch My Words ♥ 4. Kibitz Spot 5. Comedy Plus 6. Woodsterman

7. Ron Russell 8. Jim 9. Barb 10. Traveling Bells 11. Marg 12. Empress Bee

13. Silverthoughts2 14. Judy 15. Binky 16. Reese

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Things I Lernt...

Living in the South:

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss(first name) or Mr.(first name)

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You know what a **hissy fit is. And you know how to throw one!

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

Hat tip: My Alabama buddies ♥♥Dave and Linda♥♥

Things I Lernt...

Living in the South:

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

Jawl-P? Means, Did you go to the bathroom?

People actually grow, eat and like okra.

Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do that.

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

Hat tip: My Alabama buddies ♥♥Dave and Linda♥♥

An Honor!

Judy of Judy H-J's Thoughts - A Twinless Twin has given me two great awards. The first is the Enchanted Blog Award and the second is the Blogger Appreciation Award. Thank you so very much Judy. I am honored.

Here's all the great folks she gave this award to:

Every Day Is A Country Song
Comedy Plus
Clairejustineoxox
One Moment In Time
Yee Wittle Things
Happy Accidents
Katherine's Corner
Where Nothing Good Comes Easy
Sakura Hakura
Cheerfulnuts
The Personal Blog of Seriousnuts
JamericanSpice
Reflexions
Judy's Handmade Creations
The Mommyhood Chronicles
Home to 4 Kiddos
momto8blog
AboutBloggingTime!
Gumdrop Pass
Sippy Cup Chronicles
Skylar
Flour Me With Love
Tots and Me
Notes from the Nelsens
Mom's Best Nest

I pass these two awards on to all my regulars. You know who you are.

The Old Lady

There was a little old lady who would come out every morning on the steps of her front porch, raise her arms to the sky and shout, "Praise the Lord!"

Well, one day an atheist moved into the house next door. Over time, he became irritated at the little old lady. So every morning he would step out onto his front porch and yell after her, "There is no God!"

Time passes with the two of them carrying on this way every day. Then one morning in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted, "Praise the Lord! Lord, I have no food and I am hungry. Please provide for me, oh Lord!"

The next morning she stepped onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there. "Praise the Lord!" she cried out. "He has provided groceries for me!"

The atheist jumped out of the hedges and shouted, "There is no Lord. I bought those groceries!"

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted, "Praise the Lord! He has provided me with groceries and He made the devil pay for them!"

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

Wednesday's Question #48

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

What do you enjoy the most about blogging? What do you dislike?

Email Hacked

Last week my email connected to my website was hacked. I'm sure I'm to blame, but not sure how it happened. In any event if I adversely impacted anyone in my address book I am very sorry. It took me well into the next day to get my email account back on line as AT&T suspended that account. All is well with the world again, but here's the culprit of this hack. You would have received an email from me with the following message:

wow this is crazy you should give it a look http://www.wa15news.net/jobs/?read=0791408 or;
this is intense you should check this out http://www.nb15news.net/jobs/?read=0776072

If you clicked on this link I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a good thing. In any event this site sent out a lot of emails from my account.

I checked with WOT (Web of Trust) and found that this site is caustic:

Warning: Quarantined. IP/Hostname/Website found involved in various Dangerous/Suspicious activities.

• Attackers who try to spy or remotely control others' computers by means such Microsoft remote terminal, SSH, Telnet or shared desktops.
• Threats for email servers or users: spiders/bots, account hijacking, etc.
• Sites spreading virus, trojans, spyware, etc. or just being used by them to let their authors know that a new computer has been infected.
• Threats for servers: exploits, fake identities/agents, DDoS attackers, etc.
• Threats for mobile systems: virus and trojans spreading, smartphone data-harvesting etc.
• Port scans, which are the first step towards more dangerous actions.
• Malicious P2P sharers or bad peers who spread malware, inject bad traffic or share fake archives.
  

For security reasons it has been placed in a preventive Quarantine status. Any operation involved with it, is strongly discouraged.

Reason of the Quarantine: Involved on spreading of an huge quantity of UCE/UBE messages. Data obtained from a reliable listing service."

Next I wanted to know who was assigned to this website and here's what I found out.

Service Provided By: Center of Ukrainian Internet Names
Website: http://www.ukrnames.com
Contact: +380.577626123

Domain Name: WA15NEWS.NET

Creation Date: 12-Apr-2012
Modification Date: 12-Apr-2012
Expiration Date: 12-Apr-2013

Domain servers in listed order:
ns1.qfsinerfssera.ru
ns2.qfsinerfssera.ru
ns3.qfsinerfssera.ru

Registrant:
Olga Golubeva
ul. Pushkina 98 56
Barnaul, 656000
RUSSIAN FEDERATION
+7.4955467812

Bless her heart.

Words of Wisdom

Some of my favorite sayings:

1. Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning. Mahatma Gandhi


2. You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. Christopher Columbus


3. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas A Edison


4. Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill. Muhammad Ali


5. So many of our dreams at first seems impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable. Christopher Reeve


6. Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things. Peter Drucker


7. Formal education will make you a living. Self education will make you a fortune. Jim Rohn


8. You must be the change you want to see in the world. Mahatma Gandhi


9. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Ralph Waldo Emerson


10. It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without [necessarily] accepting it. Aristotle

Silly Sunday #28

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:

• Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
• Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
• If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

Ten Funny Definitions To Brighten Sunday

1. Accountant - someone you hire to explain that you didn't make the money you did.
2. Consciousness - the time between naps.
3. Justice - a decision in your favor.
4. Paradox - two physicians.
5. Court of law - the place where a suit is pressed and a man can be taken to the cleaners.
6. Flattery - an insult in gift wrapping.
7. Capitalism - the survival of the fattest.
8. A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
9. A born loser: Somebody who calls the telephone number that's scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall and his wife answers.
10. Alimony - the cost of loving.

Silly Sunday Participants

1. bethere2day 2. Chinmay 3. Woodsterman 4. Kibitz Spot 5. Comdey Plus

6. Barb 7. Rajagopalan 8. Marg 9. Traveling Bells 10. Ann

11. Judy 12. Rocks 13. William K Wallace

Learn more about Silly Sunday here.
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