Wednesday's Question #39

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

Most of us have had more than one job during our lifetime. What has been your favorite job? Why?

Little Morris

Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.

One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?"

After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand.

The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer.

With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, "A lawyer!"

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

The Mirror

Legend has it that there is a coffee bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth one is granted a wish.

However, if one tells a lie *poof* you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.

A redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." *Poof* the mirror swallows her up.

Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I'm the sexiest woman alive." *Poof* the mirror swallows her too.

Then, an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think..." *Poof*!

Silly Sunday #19

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes.

The rules are simple:

• Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
• Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
• If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

Proverbs - Part II

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders...

Where there's smoke there's - pollution.

Happy the bride who - gets all the presents.

A penny saved is - not much.

Two's company, three's - the Musketeers.

Don't put off till tomorrow what - you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.

There are none so blind as - Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not - spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed - get new batteries.

You get out of something only what you - see in the picture on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind - get out of the way.

And the favorite: Better late than - pregnant!!!!
Silly Sunday Participants

1. bethere2day 2. da Dude 3. Laugh Quotes 4. Ann 5. Sugar

6. Marg 7. Empress Bee 8. Rajagopalan 9. Barb 10. Traveling Bells

11. Stephen Hayes 12. Jean 13. Sucen 14. Binky 15. Jim

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Proverbs - Part I

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders...

Better to be safe than - punch a 5th grader.

Strike while - the bug is close.

It's always darkest before - Daylight Saving Time.

Never underestimate the power of - termites.

You can lead a horse to water but - how?

Don't bite the hand that - looks dirty.

No news is - impossible.

A miss is as good as a - Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new - math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll - stink in the morning.

Love all, trust - me.

The pen is mightier than the - pigs.

An idle mind is - the best way to relax.

British Hospitality

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.

After awhile, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood... big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness's.

He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobby, "Just follow me."

He leads him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away sir, anywhere you want."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculpted hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you... is that what you call British Hospitality'?"

"No, sir" replies the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy."

Hat tip: Frank of Foxxfyrre's Honk'n'Holl'r

Even More Suthen-ism's

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South,y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened... "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart".... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff.....bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

Hat tip: My Alabama buddies Dave and Linda